Getting close to someone means telling them about your life. That is the point. But a few details are worth holding back until you have met in person or at least had a few video calls. Not because your match is probably dangerous, but because you cannot yet be sure who is on the other end.
Keep these back at first
- Your home address, or details that point to it, like your street or the view from your door.
- Your workplace by name. Your kind of job is fine. The company and office are not, yet.
- Your full name, if it is unusual enough to search.
- Your daily routine in detail: which gym, which café, which train.
- Photos with location data, or with your house number, car plate or school uniform visible.
- Your children's names, schools or photos.
Never share these online
Some things should never go to anyone you have not known for a long time in person, whatever the reason given.
- Bank details, card numbers or one-time codes. No one genuine needs them.
- Copies of your passport or ID, even "for a visa invitation".
- Passwords or verification codes for any account.
- Intimate photos. Once sent, you cannot take them back, and they are sometimes used for blackmail.
What is fine to share early
None of this means being guarded or cold. You can talk about your city, your family in general terms, your work, your hobbies, your plans and your feelings. Most of what makes you interesting has nothing to do with your address or your bank.
Be careful with photos
Photos say more than words. A selfie on your balcony can show your street. A picture of your new car can show its plate. Before sending, look at the background for a few seconds. Many phones also store location data in photos. Sharing through a messaging app usually removes it, but sending the original file may not.
Moving off the site
Your phone number connects to a lot: messaging apps, your contact photo, sometimes your name in other people's phones. It is worth waiting until you have had a video call and feel sure about the person. Our guide on when to move to WhatsApp covers the signs.
When someone pushes
A genuine person will accept "I'd rather wait until we've met" without fuss. If someone sulks, insists, or tries to make you feel guilty for being careful, that tells you something important. Pressure to share private details early is one of the clearest red flags there is.
If you have already shared too much
Do not panic. If it was a password or a code, change the password and turn on two-step verification. If it was bank details, call your bank now. If something feels wrong, stop replying, block and report the profile, and keep copies of the messages in case you need them later.
